Creation

As a child I have always been bullied about my weight and how I'm not pretty like the other girls. 

I hated my body so much I wish I didn't EVEN EXIST.
I thought secondary school would be different, no one will care about how you look or who you are. Guess what  I was proved wrong! There was one boy that made my life living hell. 

Everyday he will say how I'm to fat, I need to lose weight. 

I just froze. 

I wanted to be  strong and show him no satisfactory but..... I couldn't!

Now! I have gain so much confidence in myself thanks to my dear family. 

However the most important person that can get you out of your problems is you!, 

No one knows you better than yourself. 

 (extract by my cousin Anell)

There was a time when I didn’t understand.
Why? Do we have religion?
How? Much suffering can one overcome?
When? Will it be over?
Why? Is it so hard?

But now I know that these questions were just a way for me to say, “I don’t believe.” But now I know! I know why. I know how. And I know when.

I used to look in the mirror each day and think, why am I not as pretty as the rest? Why am I not as skinny as the rest?
NOW I KNOW! I am me and you are you. I am unique and different from everyone around me. I am me! I am my own person. No one in the world can ever say that they are the same as me. I am unique, an individual.

As I say this over and over I believe it. As I know that I have been made different so that I stand out, not only on the outside but also by what I stand for.

Ways that I have come to appreciate myself is, by taking a mental note of my good characteristics and complement myself on them.

To me our bodies are a replica of who we are, what we think of ourselves and what we stand for.
For someone to instil a hurtful thought in a child's mind that they are not as God wanted them to be. To even utter the word that child is not special just because they are different is to me, the worst thing anyone can say. 

Everyone on this earth is a creation of God.

There is no reason why another human being should feel like they can tell someone else that they are worthless or that they do not matter.

It is unacceptable.

It is so wrong that just because someone is a different size that they are made to feel like they want an end. 

That is just not right.

I personally have felt this way and i would hate for anyone to feel like that.

Mostly because of this i have always had such low self esteem. 

But not any more.

I refuse to let what ignorant people say to get the best of me.

I will stand up for the minority.

And i will say enough is enough!!

No one deserves to be made a mockery of because of how they look like.

I will take that stand.

Whether alone or otherwise, 

I will share the gift of this creation.

Txx

The new and improved me!

My goal in life:
Ultra- happiness.
How: to acheive emotional, psychological and physical happiness.
To leave all the negativity behind me and strive forward to acheive all my goals in life.

Its always easy in life to forget what matters most.
 To forget that its ok to be happy.
 Or that its ok to smile.
Sometimes the smallest thing makes me smile.
Like waking up everyday to see the sun shining.
Or taking a deep breath of fresh air as I step out of my front door.
That always makes me smile.

I have a new out look on life on a whole.
Its what you make it.
 Its how you live it that makes the difference whether you laugh or cry.
Whether you live each day to the fullest.
I think that's the most important thing.
There's no point in waking up every morning and not appreciating what you have.
To me That's just selfish.
That's just another way of saying, take my life away!
Just because we go throught so much trials and tribulations in life doesn't mean we have to give up.
It doesn't mean that we have to stop taking that deep breath.
That's just life.
Some days are brighter than the other.
 So we need to take each day as it come and just hope and pray that there is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel.
I feel that there really isn't much that anyone can do to eliminate the element of problem from their life.
That's why we all need to assist and help each other to achieve that ultra happiness.
That extra piece of fulfillment that we all need.

That's the only way that I think we can make in this world.

Txx

The Broken Mirror

So, i'm truly alone.  

i was born alone so why did i think life would be different.

people who are supposed to love and care about me are the ones who have left and isolated me.

friends who are supposed to be there no matter what, are the ones ignoring my cries of help.

alone. 

such a simple word, yet the one word that describes this pain the most.

this pain of abandonment. 

this pain of regret.

this pain of the lost i feel in my heart.

alone.

some may say i brought this upon myself.

then again maybe i did.

i caused my own loneliness by making my feelings heard.

by making sure that for once in my entire life, my voice was heard.

even above the wails of my subconscious screaming no, i was heard.

even if what i said was not something i should have said, i was heard.

loud and clear.

i am taking my things and leaving.

that's exactly what i said.

who knows if i would have said those exact words if i knew what lay ahead of me.

i know, i would have.

i know this because there is no way that i will let this unfortunate event get the best of me.

i will not speak.

i will not think.

i will just move forward.

i will make sure that my life does not become what they predicted.

that i will make sure that i am of worth.

that i become someone who i am proud of.

then, and only then will i be able to say, thank you.

thank you for leaving me.

thank you for helping me to love myself more than you love me.

thank you for showing me that i can do anything.

i can achieve anything.

alone.

without you.

thank you for this unfortunate event that has shaped my life.

my life that i now adore.

thank you for not caring enough.

because now i care soo much.

thank you for that unfortunate event that showed me that i don't need you.

that i don't need to rely on you.

that i can rely on myself.

now i know.

that's what i will say.

that's what i will say when i've made it.

when i've made it alone.

alone.

who ever said alone was unfortunate.

a weakness.

well i will make this weakness my strength.

because you shattered a broken mirror.

i will make the glue to put it back together again.

Txx