Remember me...

Its crazy how much I want you to call.
How much I want to hear your voice.
To hear you say how proud you are of me.
How much you love me.
How much you want me to succeed.

But we both know that is far from reality.
That is far from what you are going to do.

To you I might aswel be a stranger.
I might aswel be someone that has no importance to you.
Because that is exactly how I feel.

You don't care about me.
I scares me to think that you never have.
And that maybe you never will.


Its a sad thought really.
How someone who is supposed to be the most important person in my life has become the one who just couldn't care less.

That bond.
I envy my friends who have that in their lives.
The bond I crave to have with you.
The bond that would make everything feel good again.

It scares me.
Scares me to think that this could be it.
That this could be life for me now.

Is this what I really want?
Is this how I want things to be?

I have no idea.
No idea whatsoever.

All I know is that im not going to sit here and feel sorry for myself.
Feel sad that I don't have you in my life anymore.

No!

Im gonna get up and excel in everything I do.
I will win in life.

And someday I will make sure that my child does not ever feel this way.
Because I will care.
And I will love.
And I will be proud of my life.
Thats all that I can do.

I really do love you.
And I hope that one day i can just tell you all my feelings face to face.

But until then, This will do.

Txx

Shadow..

Take me or Leave me!For who i am!

 There is no way that i will change myself just to fit in with the status quo.
 
As they say life is what u make it. just because you fit in a certain category of life does not mean that this should be the case. 

For in stance if society places you in  what is claimed to be your natural habitat then it is in your own interest to change this view and to make the most of diversity. 

I think that there is no point living life always looking over your shoulders just because you are classed as the odd one. 

To me life's limitations should always be taken on with an open mind.

For this to happen i think that we should all show a little bit of courtesy to the one labelled as the loner. 

We need to make life easier for each other in order for societies understanding of individuality to take full affect.

So just to put this simply, Life is not worth living in someone's shadow. 

Txx

Why i Write..

I love to write.

I think ever since I learnt how to hold a pen, I've just been fascinated by how Ive been able to come up with words that express how I feel.

I started writing stories and plays as I realised that I have an extremely vivid imagination. 
These stories were just a way of entertainment for a while but that quickly changed as I started to use it as a means of escape.

I've always found it hard to express myself vocally to people and because of this I spent most of my childhood and teenage years being angry and frustrated with myself and others.

Slowly I felt like I was losing my identity and that being me was the hardest thing that I could do. 
I lost all emotional connection with myself.

At that time I realised that even though writing is a skill I have, it can also be a way that I can be able to express all my emotions through my words.

Because of this I started writing this blog. 
So far I feel like i have been able to find peace in myself and my abilities.


Txx